At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
