oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
