We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Shitshow foam night was such a success
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
