Having a random hookup so left but love u
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
