I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
