So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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