Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
