Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
