my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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