she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
