i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
