Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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