Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
