Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
