I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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