Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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