sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
