Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You did what with his pubic hair?
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