I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize