obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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