I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
