I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
