My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
