I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
