Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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