SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I am spending my child support on dildos
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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