i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
