you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
