best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My boob is missing a layer of skin
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
