i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
