Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
