I looked at my own cervix.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
