lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
