after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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