But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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