His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
