if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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