I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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