my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
