you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize