you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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