"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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