420 ftw
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
