Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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