Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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