it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I got inside last night via doggy door
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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