would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize