She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
