I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm like, not good at living.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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