Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
