so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
In other news, I just burned my penis
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
