I puked a lego.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm at about main and main street
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Randomize
