I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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