yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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