Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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