Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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