wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
