i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
