SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
the liver wants what the liver wants
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize