k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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