I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
