talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize